I met Joel while I was dating someone else. We were at a party and we just hit it off. We finished each other’s sentences, saw the world in a similar way, and made each other laugh. I even joked that he had the other half of my “best friend heart necklace”. (remember those?)
Then I hoped in the car with my boyfriend and headed home.
I jokingly told my best friend I had just met my soulmate. He called his mom and told her he met the girl he was going to marry.
A month later he called asking if I remembered him from the party, wanting to know if I wanted to meet for coffee. Yes, I remembered him. No, I wouldn’t have coffee with him — I was dating someone else.
Joel didn’t give up. Several calls and date requests later, I gave him my email address. I remember thinking it would be easier to reject him via email.
For the next ten months Joel asked me out over a 100 times. And through my repeated rejection, we started becoming friends. Our emails got longer. The details got more detailed. The connection between us grew.
I didn’t know where to put it. Our relationship didn’t fit anywhere that made sense.
I remember when he spoke about interviewing for a job out of state, I prayed that he wouldn’t get it. I didn’t want him to move, but wasn’t sure what that meant.
When my boyfriend and I broke up (he broke up with me), Joel had already started dating someone else. I was jealous, and confused.
So when he told me he was at the laundry mat close to my house, I naturally grabbed my clean laundry, threw it in my car and headed to the laundry mat to rewash it.
We were there for a long time.
A week later he broke up with his girlfriend and we started dating.
5 months later we were engaged.
We’ve been married for eight years. And now I have cancer.
There really aren’t enough words to say about Joel. He is beyond description. Anything I would write would be cheesy and cliche’ — and he is better than that.
He has had to take over so much of our household chaos. And he’s been my rock. He has no doubt that I am going to be okay. He believes it with every fiber of his being. He lets me cry, and break, and fall apart, but then he lovingly reminds me that I am going to be okay.
Last night he shaved my head –like with a razor and shaving cream. It is never something I thought he would have to do for me. I didn’t dream about having cancer and needing my husband to shave my patchy disaster of a head.
He made me laugh. He told me I was beautiful. And he kissed me.
I told him: “I rather have cancer and be with you — then be healthy and be without you.”
And that my friends- is the truth.